Edwin

Tita and Pedro personify the unhealthy blending of passion, lust, and love. Although Tita and Pedro say the are madly in love with each other, they personify the negative consequences when passion and lust are confused with true love. ‍True love is sacrificial and measure the consequences. ‍ || The uncontainable, unhealthy lust brought them suffering and negative consequences to their lives and the lives of others || Reason 2: Love always seek happiness and peace, brining positive and healthy consequences to the lives touched by it. || Every opportunity they were toghether was an expression of the deceitful and destructive passion and lust they had for each other || Reason 3: Love lays out the foundation upon which honesty, sincerity and trust are built. || The uncontainalbe and destructive lust and passion shun them from happiness and brought them to death || Reason 4: Love brings happyness and makes the ones in love feel completely alive. || Their selfish destructive desires blinded their minds and had them step ove custmos, traditions and the moral values set by society. || Reason 5: True love is not selfish, always reasoning before acting to make sure it will built and not destroy. ||
 * //Like Water for Chocolate //**** Pre-Writing **
 * Choose one question. Which question did you choose? _3_ **
 * I chose question #3, because in my opinion the novel gives an unhealthy example of what love is, portraying it as a feeling that allows and permit the destruction of people's lives as long as the ones in love end up together. The unhappiness of many does not account for the happiness of two. Love has no boundaries, but always seeks the greater good. **
 * What is your thesis statement? **
 * Write your thesis statement here: **
 * <span style="font-family: 'Arial','sans-serif'; font-size: 13px;">Analyze your topic. Look at both sides to understand the issue. Type your reasons below. **
 * ** <range type="comment" id="4660">‍Your opinion ‍ ** ||  ** Opposite opinion **  ||
 * Reason 2: Passion and lust blinded their minds without thinking or caring about the consequences. || Reason 1:
 * Reason 2:
 * Reason 3:
 * Reason 4:
 * Reason 5:


 * Essay #2 Pre-Writing Response **
 * Option #1: **

1. What story and theme have you chosen to write about?

2. Why did you choose this theme?

3. Are you going to be concentrating on the 1930s and 1940s in your research or on the present time?

4. Write your "working thesis" here:
 * <range type="comment" id="795597">‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍The History of Immigration in the USA has always been a subject that brings people apart, segregating humans based in their culture, nationality, and race. ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍**

5. List some of the sources you will be using in your research. (Remember that your sources must be reliable—they must be from a magazine, newspaper, journal, university or government website, etc. If you can’t identify the source—it’s not acceptable!) Next to each, write why you are using this source. What information does it contain that you think you can use?


 * Option #2: **

1. What marginalized or disenfranchised group of people did you choose for your paper?
 * The immigrants undocumented people from Mexico and Central America.**

2. Why did you choose this group?
 * I chose this group because of all the struggles and difficulties they have to daily overcome trying to make a living in the United States.**

3. What do you know about this group before you do any research?
 * I personally works with many immigrant undocumented people from Mexico and Central America.**

4. After doing a little research, answer the following questions:

a. What are some of the causes of the disenfranchisement?

b. What are some of the effects of the disenfranchisement?

List your sources below: Remember that your sources must be reliable—they must be from a magazine, newspaper, journal, university or government website, etc. If you can’t identify the source—it’s not acceptable!

Essay #1 Final Draft Response
List any feedback you received from April and other people who read your essay.


 * April stated that my thesis statement needed work. I changed one sentence and tried to use words more carefully to give a more clear understanding of what the essay is going to be about.**

List what you changed for your final draft (Ex. Verbs, thesis statement) and **why**.
 * Minor changes were done to my thesis. Deleted some unnecessary extra words. I tried to make sure I was using the correct verb tense. I reviewed my punctuation based in what was taught in class.**
 * All the changes were done to try to produce a more understandable, readable and interesting essay.**

If you had more time, what else would you change about your essay?
 * I would probably change the subject I wrote about. After writing the essay I realized that I should have been more careful choosing a subject. I would also try to spend more time as I'm not completely satisfied with my essay.**

What makes you proud about your essay?
 * More than anything I feel proud of what I've learned in class and to be able to put it in practice.**

Did you like writing about the theme you chose? **Why or why not?**
 * No. I realized I was not passionate and even did not like the story enough to write about it.**

What did you learn in this unit?
 * I learned a lot. I have learned to use words more carefully. I have learned the beginning of the writing process. Its sequence and the steps I have to take when writing. It has been a great learning experience.**

<range type="comment" id="36387">‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍Essay #1 Rough Draft Self-Response ‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍‍
How many paragraphs does your **essay** have?

My essay has six paragraphs including the introduction and conclusion.

Your **introduction** should have 3-5 sentences. How many sentences are in your introduction? Do you need to fix anything? If yes, what?

My introduction has four sentences. I need to fix the length and clarity of the sentences to make it more easy to read and interesting. I believe that the reader might lose focus and interest because some sentences are too long.

How many **body paragraphs** do you have?

My essay has four body paragraphs.

How many sentences are in:


 * 1) Body ¶ #1: Eighteen sentences
 * 2) Body ¶ #2: Fifteen sentences
 * 3) Body ¶ #3: Thirteen sentences
 * 4) Body ¶ #4: Fourteen sentences
 * 5) Body ¶ #5:

Each **body paragraph** should have 11 sentences. Do you need to fix anything? If yes, what?

All the four paragraphs in my essay have more than 11 sentences. I do need to fix the clarity for the reader to be able to understand the story as a whole and keep the reader interested without disclosing what will follow in the story

Your **conclusion** should have 3-5 sentences. How many sentences are in your **conclusion**? __Do you need to fix anything in your **conclusion**? If yes, what?__

My conclusion has 9 sentences. I think for the most part I don't need to fix much in my conclusion other than some missing words.

What is your **word count**?

My essay has 1764 words.

You should have 750-1,000 words. Do you need to add more words?

I don't need more words

Copy your **thesis** here:

The story "The Promise" is a story that portrays the struggles of the main character, Jody, dealing with uncertainty, loss, emptiness, and tragedy.

Did you prove your **thesis** in the essay? How? If not, can you revise your essay to prove it more clearly?

I think I somewhat proved it, but I need to work more in the paragraphs to correlate my thesis with the topic sentences.

Which __pre-writing__ method do you like best and why (bubble clusters, line clusters, columns etc)? Nice! +5  I have chosen to use Outlines for my pre-writing method. I think I'm going to be able to organize better my thoughts and ideas. Also, it will be easier to use outlines in the computer.

Based on the feedback and class discussion, write your revised thesis statement here: The story "The Promise" from John Steinbeck is a story that portrays the struggles of the main character, Jody, dealing with uncertainty, loss, emptiness and tragedy.

Please write the date here: 02/09/2012

Please write your name: Edwin Guzman

Please write your thesis statement:

The story "The Promise" from John Steinbeck is a story that portrays the reality of life, and the struggles on a little boy trying to deal with tragedy, loss, emptiness, and that through this he comes to realize that life is a succession of unexpected events, and that acceptance is needed even when desolation is found and in order to cope with the uncertainty of life.

Then, comment on at least one other person's page.

1. What is the "source" in the thesis statement? The source is "The Promise." 2. Does it give the writer's opinion? Why or why not? Yes, it gives the writer's opinion on many issues. 3. Does it imply a structure for the essay? How many body paragraphs? Based on the thesis, it looks like there will be a body paragraph for:
 * How the story portrays the reality of life
 * The stuggles of a little boy dealing with loss
 * He realizes life is a succession of unexpected events
 * He needs acceptance even with desolation and in order to cope withe the uncertainty of life

Edwin, this is a great start. I think your thesis could be clearer if you focused on fewer topics. You can leave out the reality of life and just focus on Jody's part in the story: his struggles and realizations. :) April.

(Students with "odd-numbered" tickets, ESL100Student1, ESL100Student3, etc., please comment on the next number going up, so ESL100Student1 comments on ESL100Student2, and students with "even-numbered tickets," please comment on the next number going DOWN, so ESL100Student2 comments on ESL100Student1, and so on.)